Q. I recently filed for divorce and am wondering if it’s okay for me to date. I don’t want anything too serious but I do feel like I need to move on.
A. Good Question. As a rule of thumb, don’t date until your divorce is final (or at least for 6-12 months out). This gives you a chance to grieve your ending relationship and prepare yourself for a future one. Many people say they start dating right away because they are lonely. If you’re lonely find a good therapist or friend for the short term.
That said, if your divorce drags on for longer than 6-12 months, you might want to go ahead and start dating. You most likely will have grieved the old relationship by then and would only have to worry about additional drama and complicated issues. Bringing a new significant other into the divorce process can complicate issues, create unnecessary drama, and stir up bad behavior from the other side. This will sometimes prolong the time it takes for the issues of your divorce to be settled. Is I worth it? Only you can decide that.
Q. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past 6 years (since my son was born). My husband is telling me I need to find a job because he is going to divorce me. I’m in a panic! I don’t want to put my son and baby daughter in daycare but don’t know my rights in this situation. Please help!
A. If you have been a stay-at-home mom and can afford to continue doing so through the divorce action, do so. It is best for your children to have a familiar home life as they work through your divorce. Because you have children, it would be wise to ask for a Temporary Order. This order will clearly state what he is required to provide to you as far as child support and alimony are concerned until your divorce is final. Remember, this is a temporary order and is subject to change at the time of the divorce. A Temporary Order will also clearly state who has custody of the children and when – which is a very good document to have. (For those of you who have been working throughout your marriage, don’t quit your job. Just try to keep your household and daycare situation as stable as possible for the sake of your children.)
Q. I am in the midst of a big hairy divorce and am pretty bummed. My ex took half of our furniture and took our one good car; leaving me with the old wreck of a car from his college days. I can’t live like this. Am I in trouble if I go buy some replacement furniture and a car that actually runs?
A. Purchase what you need but don’t go overboard or your ex may try to use your purchases to show the court that you can pay more alimony (or don’t really need the alimony you are requesting). The courts can be very strict about not wasting assets during the divorce proceeding so keep this in mind as you make your purchases.
If you have a question about home life and your pending divorce, feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to find you an answer.
Please remember information provided on this website is general, and not specific to your situation. It provides an excellent resource to you if you’re unsure about how the divorce process works. This advice doesn’t take the place of the advice you would receive from an attorney but might help you decide whether you need to hire one.